you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize