Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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