if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
