he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
