I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize