Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize