Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
