plz talk dirty to me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
