Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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