I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize