so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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