dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
