sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
