hotel room ftw
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
