clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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