sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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