some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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