she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
