Barsexuality is the new black.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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