Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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