real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
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We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
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Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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