Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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