I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
