There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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