Umm I'm too high to move.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
