she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
