Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
