Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
