Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
