Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
