no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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