The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
