he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
