My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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