In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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