I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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