you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
