He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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