so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
