her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
whose parrot is this?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
