dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
