I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
