the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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