im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
