Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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