One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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