She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
