i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
