I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
