That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize