I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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