i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
