I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
