it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Im part way to drunk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
