I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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