So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
