Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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