I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
